Jessie J wears her heart on her sleeve as she recalls the ‘lonely’ days after her loss.
The singer explained everything in her most recent visit on The Diary of a CEO Podcast.
She was cited as stating, “I got two scans on the same day, and the baby had passed between the first and second scans.”
“I’ve never felt so lonely in my life as I did that night when I returned home… I remember lying there, knowing it was still there, but it wasn’t. This continued on for more than a week.”
“I still had pretty strong nausea,” the singer added, “but I just felt something wasn’t right.” Especially “that horrible stillness when you first get a scan and they kind of don’t say anything.”
“I was like, ‘Just give me the truth, what’s going on?,'” she says. ‘Your baby’s heartbeat is quite low,’ she said, and there’s this, like, ring.”
“And I thought to myself, ‘Well, what does that mean?'” ‘It typically signifies the kid will have some type of handicap or deformity,’ she explained.”
When Jessie found out the news, she was confronted by a man who wanted her to talk about it. “‘This is occurring because you’re meant to talk about it,’ he remarked. You’re meant to assist others.’ Instead of going to the hospital for blood, I hopped in my car and said, ‘I’m going to seek a second opinion.'”
“I remember just leaving [home] and not comprehending it…,” she said ten minutes and another scan later. The next day, I went right into glam, performed the soundcheck, and onto the stage.”
That was also the day she chose to share the news on Instagram, saying, “I posted it because I didn’t have anyone to break it to.” I didn’t have somebody to break apart on, and that’s what I needed and wanted.”
However, Jessie eventually discovered that it wasn’t the worst part of the encounter since the worst portion was still to come. “I went to my knees when I got in the car after the concert by myself, and I came home, and I opened my front door, and I closed the door.”
“The toughest part of the whole thing was understanding that, aside from my work, being a mother and having a kid had been the most exciting event of my life.”
“Like, I’ve always been a supermom. I adore children… I felt like I’d been granted everything I’d ever desired, only to be told, ‘But you can’t have it.'”
Despite the ordeal, Jessie was convinced that “the reason it happened was because I wasn’t intended to do it alone.”
“I’m meant to find someone who is as passionate about this as I am.” I’m glad for the opportunity to be pregnant… It’s allowed me to love myself more deeply.”
“I’m still digesting the whole situation,” she continued before ending. I have times of deep loss and anguish, but I also have moments of enthusiasm because I know I won’t be able to do it alone.”
