KARACHI: If I have to give empowerment, strength and success another name, I would call it Sidra Iqbal. A shine in her eyes and her face carry-ing a soft smile that compliments her kind personality was what I could instantly witness as I entered into a local café to interview Iqbal.
As we sat down, I immediately changed my mind of keeping this conversation strictly confined to a back and forth of questions and answers. I decided to start with a normal conversation; maybe due to Iqbal’s friendly vibe. After a formal introduction, we con-nected as women; women whose struggles are the same, and whose stories are the same, yet they look at life with different lenses.
“I was very young when I started taking interest of being in the forefront. I would participate in extracurricular activities in my school and at the age of 15, I became an avid debater.” We take a formal start to set the tone of this conversation. “From city level to national level, I participated in debate competitions and later got an opportunity to represent Pakistan in London at a debate competi-tion. I won the international competition and that brought me in the lime light.” She smiles while she recalls.
“I had a brilliant spell of 4 years in my time as an undergraduate where I was representing the youth of Pakistan. It was the turn of the century where we were talking about mass sustainable goals. I saw myself being very active in those subjects.”
Having an MBA degree and then starting out as a journalist, Iqbal had always been passionate for TV ever since she did her first show on PTV, the same channel that covered her winning the debate competition. “It was completely accidental. As soon as I finished my MBA, I was offered to do an English program called ‘The World This Week.’ There was no looking back then.”
She shares grinning ear to ear. Iqbal runs her own PR company and works as a corporate consultant and trainer, however she never really left the world of television and calls it her undeniable passion. “I love being a journalist. My education and consulting work is at one side, but TV is my true passion.”
Racking up fame and respect, Iqbal never got into acting, although viewers have seen her debating, hosting and teaching. “Actually, my father was a TV drama director and producer. This entire fraternity is my father’s. I have been asked several times to act or mod-el, but I know myself. I know how impatient I am and for acting, one has to have patience. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am very opinionated. I personally feel that scripts will lose my credibility and confine my thoughts. I am a free bird and people should see my branches as an extension of me. That’s why acting and modeling is perhaps not the option for me. But someday, I might want to direct a movie.”
Iqbal become more candid when we started talking about how her personal journey has affected her decisions and transformed her as a person. “I am very blessed in this regard. Not many people know that when I won in London, I was invited to the Buckingham Palace, and my winning certificate was given to me by Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, and I met with the royal family.”
I could still observe the shine in her eyes as if she is reliving the memory. “That was truly a dream come true. And why? Because when Lady Diana had passed away I also watched it live on television like every other person. At one point, where the carriage trav-els from the Buckingham Palace towards the Windsor Abbey, I randomly said to my parents that one day the doors of Buckingham Palace would open for me just like this. Two years later, it became a reality. Not even this, there are things I openly desired which happened.”
A true visionary, Iqbal seeks higher in her. She expresses joy when recalling every moment of her life, professional as well as per-sonal. She took all that life threw at her as lessons and put them together in an effort to climb towards prosperity, building herself stronger every step of the way.
“I may not be aware of the end destination in my life’s journey, but everything that happens certainly adds a lot to my story and this is what excites me. My hardships were very personal, they were solely mine. At a very young age, I got recognition and fame, and I was known in the diplomatic circles and the corporate world. I was self-confident and pretty aware of my prowess and strengths that I was a good speaker. Although, what I did not know was my self-worth. I often felt bullied, abandoned, lonely and that happened to me only because I never valued myself and never realised my worth.”
Breaking out of her shell was not easy for Iqbal, as she was surrounded by people she relied on the most. But she did it after she realised that they are the ones who were pushing her to the darker corners.
“It came after heart breaks and that too after being betrayed by some of my closest friends from whom I least expected anything of that sort. That heartbreak made me realize that I gave unnecessary attention and importance to people even when they never deserved it in the first place.”
Still, Iqbal learnt from her experiences, which is not easy for everyone to do; people either break themselves or make themselves, and she chose the latter. “You feel that you are not going to recover, ever, but once you begin to gather the broken pieces with cour-age, you then realise that you are still able to dream, hope and move on. There were times when I felt so heartbroken that even a two hour show became difficult to do and I couldn’t function. My coping strategy would be a ten minute pause where I would cry. I would tell myself, ‘Sidra, I know that you are feeling horrible, and we will get back to feeling horrible later, but in these two hours, you have to give your best.”
We both laugh as she describes her coping strategy. She had let things go, but again, it was difficult to be in an emotional roller coaster ride in her personal life and simultaneously give her best on the TV. “It was a low period in my life and I had to constantly prove to myself that I am still standing strong. I would feel aimless in those years, and only those two hours of televised airtime proved to be productive. After the show would finish, I would feel terrible and lazy, still inhabiting a negative zone and asking myself that why these things happened to me. However, I took everything one day at a time and one step at a time. I fought alone and coped with it.”
This made Iqbal stronger and not only for herself, but for other women also. She resonates with them and understands their jour-ney and therefore talks openly about their independency, freedom and rights in order to serve as an activist.
“A woman can help another woman. To fix each other’s crown, one has to initiate. If I am insecure, I would trigger your insecuri-ties. Let’s suppose, if I am all about my looks, I will trigger you by commenting on your looks and consequently, it will set a particu-lar tone between you and I where whenever I will be around, you’ll perhaps think that I am judging you on your looks. Women have to trust each other and heal themselves from all the damages and insecurities. I believe all human beings are like mirrors and they are only reflecting back at you, the image you want to see of yourself.”
“Women are taught from the beginning to be conscious about their looks, grades and be good enough to get a good proposal. The only way to fix another one’s crown is to feel genuinely happy for them instead of feeling jealous of what they have.”
Iqbal cherishes what she has in her life and one of her coping strategies may include her being happy for others around her. Apart from TV, the second thing she enjoys in her life is teaching which gives her solace and confidence. She is able to inculcate change and lead her mentees towards betterment and success. She explains that her focus is mainly on women as they need to grow mentally amidst a society that constantly limits them. “A lot of women see me as their mentor. In our society, we haven’t been taught to take compliments. Girls often avoid the limelight and start deflecting compliments and praises. I want people to know their worth and believe in themselves. My focus is to give confidence to young people, especially women.”
“I love and enjoy teaching. When I had won the debate competition, I got an opportunity to work as a Debating Coach at British Council. Even today, I train organisations for communications, marketing and handling media and other avenues. I want to teach people what I have learnt through grinding and experience. I am still on a journey to learn more about mindfulness and I would want to design programs and workshops regarding this.”
She is a firm believer of authentic truth and the significance of one being truthful to themselves while maintaining their self-worth. She understands emotions so deeply that it has made me realise that only two things could explain emotions to me in the best way possible one was a book by the author Tiffany Watt Smith, and other by Iqbal in this conversation. “Every emotion has its value. Being positive doesn’t mean that you can’t be angry. Processing emotions is very important. Our bodies are like machines and as a machine has different buttons indicating different things, our body also indicates through our emotions what state it is in; anger, happiness, sadness, depression, and every such emotion should be expressed and processed as well.
This positivity and vivacity is highly cherished by Iqbal, she owns it and aims to spread it among people. She cultivates her joy which keeps her sane and optimistic. “I would advise people to do what makes you happy and sets your mind at peace. I do what makes me happy. People should start living their authentic selves and express their truth. Honour yourself and whoever loves you and wants to stay in your life will always value your decision and the uniqueness that you bring.”
Reaching to the heights of her career, Iqbal still doesn’t believe in a system that stifles her voice and suppresses her identity. “I have always said that I work with people and not for people. I would say that women should explore themselves first, search what they like and want to do. I personally hate structured environments, and I am unable to work in corporate settings or a government sector as I don’t understand the layers and hierarchy systems that follow. I love my independence and I have transformed my work life accordingly.”
She is exploring different skills and avenues in her life and keeps growing. “I was searching for my truth and trying to understand myself and I found my truth so I would further suggest that people should choose a work lifestyle that suits their life. If you are stuck and see no way out, tell yourself that its temporary and the only way you can find your way out is by relying on your five senses however, there comes faith which can open doors miraculously. Miracles do hap-pen and you just have to believe that these miracles can happen for you as well.”
