• Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have just been praised for their ability to ‘spin self-pitying chaff into gold’.
• She began the conversation by accusing Meghan Markle of attempting to ‘sell’ herself to Spotify and Netflix.
• “It was a genius idea,” Ms Tominey believes.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have just been praised for their ability to ‘spin self-pitying chaff into gold’.

Allison Pearson, a royal commentator, brought these charges and admissions to light.

She began the conversation by accusing Meghan Markle of attempting to ‘sell’ herself to Spotify and Netflix for the first time.

Meghan Markle, according to Ms Tominey, planned her Archetypes podcast to include “pious podcast platitudes about female empowerment – well, one female’s empowerment anyway”.

“Glittering guests would line up to take a largely non-speaking role in madam’s Archetypes show,” she continued, referring to Meghan Markle’s supposed thoughts.

Not to mention that the couple “always expected hundreds of millions of dollars to be strewn in their princely path simply because hereditary power (which they pretend to despise because, uh, you know, ‘fairness and equity’) gave them the magical ability to spin self-pitying chaff into gold,” she claims.

“It was a genius idea,” Ms Tominey believes. “Harry and Meghan would be the first non-working Content Producers in history.”

“The ‘content’ they sold to Spotify and Netflix would be themselves. By prostituting their royal credentials to the highest bidder, they would be raking it in for years to come.”