Eli Rallo has never been a self-proclaimed “cool chick.”

“I’m literally bats–t,” the 23-year-old New Yorker said to The Washington Post. “I mean, who cares?”

Rallo proclaimed the once-popular “cool girl” character – a female who’s just “one of the lads” and doesn’t dare to express her emotions – officially dead in a now-viral TikTok video, which has over 376,000 likes.

“It was wonderful to be ‘that’ lady: minimalist, with a polished and relatively clean feminine image,” Rallo remarked, adding that he believes boys like “calm” chicks.

“It’s like cramming oneself into a pair of ill-fitting clothes.” That has never been my personality.”

Rallo, though, isn’t the only one who is sick of being a certified cool girl.

For TikToker and college student Maalvika Bhat, 21, letting go of the “calm girl” expectation was liberating – and, as her TikTok calling for the “death of the cool girl” went viral, she realised that other women want to be liberated as well.

“I don’t care if you guys are hooking up; if you want to know whether he’s seeing other people, you can ask him,” she adds in the video, which has received over 103,000 likes. “You don’t have to be concerned about remaining calm.”

According to sociologist Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., the cultural demand for the “cool girl” character derives from unfavourable representations of women as “annoying, excessively emotional, and dominating” – but she’s now seeing a “f–k it” attitude among younger women.

“[I’ve seen] a larger picture of women revolting against the BS ‘feminine programming’ we’ve gotten, what it means to be a good woman or a good partner, how you’re meant to be seductive or lovely,” she explained.

Jareen Imam, 33, was taken aback when she discovered that her dating app prospects only wanted “calm gals.”

“I didn’t really grasp what it meant,” Imam, a tech worker, told The Washington Post. “However, it became evident over time when I went on dates with some of these people that a ‘cool lady’ had very particular implications, and one of them was essentially not asking for too much in a relationship.”

After only discussing one of her interests, one guy told her she sounded “very energetic” and that he wasn’t “looking for someone with that much drama.”

“It made me feel like I couldn’t be myself,” the New Yorker said, despite the fact that her personality had never been a problem previously. “I care about a lot of things, and I have strong ideas, which is OK.” “I enjoy being myself.”

Ilianca Sipos, a marketing manager in Nashville, knew that not caring was not an option.

“You can’t live or date someone if you’re not being your real self and letting things slip that you don’t want to let slide,” said Sipos, 25, who was terrified of “ruffling any feathers” if she wasn’t relaxed. “We’d never be chill in our employment, we’d never be chill in other things that worry us, so why would we be chill in relationships?”

Holding back sentiments in relationships generates built-up irritation, which, according to NYC dating counsellor Grace Lee, subsequently spills over as a “freak out,” labelling the woman as “crazy.” However, she cautioned that approaching a relationship with a “take it or leave it” mentality is also not a wise strategy.

Gunsaullus also cautioned against doing a quick 180. “However, when people yell ‘f–k it’ to anything, they’re still quite reactive.”

Instead, she advised meditating on how women are “showing up” and finding a happy medium between shouting “f–k it,” which she considers self-centered, and being a pleaser or “cool girl.”

Bhat stated that putting herself first eventually made her the happiest.

“It seemed like I wasn’t winning because I was focusing on what he thought about me rather than my own interests, needs, and limits,” she explained.

Bhat attributes the growth of the “chill chick” to Alex Cooper’s Barstool podcast “Call Her Daddy,” which he describes as “caring isn’t cool, feelings aren’t acceptable, and be like the guys who don’t care.”

“The ‘Call Her Daddy’ age of feminism began [with this].” Treat men the same way they treat you. Casual dating implies a lack of respect. It implies that the more removed you are, the more successful you will be,” Bhat said.